Moment of Understanding

It was 4:45am on the day of the ensuing attack. Henry Levi woke as he normally would. He didn’t start work until 8am but without his morning workout he felt inadequate. Of course he went again after work but the morning session always set the tone for the day not just physically but mentally. Henry kissed his girlfriend and their three year old son goodbye, grabbed his gym bag and headed out. The silence of the house broken only by the creak of the front door hinge he swore daily he would oil the next. By the time Henry returned to his house the entire country was crumbling in chaos. Baffled by the attack. “Babe, Are you watching it?!” Henry asked blindly as he entered the door. “Of course I am. What else is there?” “The whole city is shut down. Even the trains. They didn’t even stop the trains after 9/11. What the hell is going on?” Henry tossed his gym bag behind the door and entered the living room to the terrified faces of Enrique, Clyde and Deandra. The poker table and food was set up for their weekly poker night but no one was seated there. “Hi, Uncle Henry.” Enrique’s daughter yelled running by. “Hi Dad,” His son said running past him in hot pursuit. Henry forced a smile until they disappeared into the playroom. He looked back at the adults gathered around the large TV in the Living room; their faces were worrying him more than the little information he had. “Sorry Henry,” Enrique began, “They didn’t know what it was a- and I had already picked up Ana and was nearly here-“ “Rick are you serious??” Henry cut him off. “You did the right thing.” Henry said firmly waving off his modest friend’s apology, “We’ll ride out whatever this is here. Last thing we want is you and Ana up in the boroughs while they are panicking.” Enrique wouldn’t be able to articulate why the comment bothered him slightly but he knew it did. They all grew up together in the Bronx but Henry was by far the most successful of the friends. One look around his Fifth Ave condo and it was obvious why the weekly poker game was held here. “What do they know?” Henry asked joining them in the living room. Dee immediately curled up under his arms, he could tell she was nervous. So was the room but Henry oddly enough felt strangely calm. “Nothing.” Clyde said, the frustration evident in his tone. “Started in California,” Rick interjected, “They reported people just dropping dead for no reason at all; some airborn toxin-“ “But the problem is a Mother fucker could be standing right next to you and feel nothing,” Clyde added, “its like a 70% rate wi- Look! Watch!” Clyde shouted interrupting himself and pointing excitedly at the screen. Henry leaned forward focusing on the screen. The news was showing a small town reporter covering some sort of festival that this quaint California town does annually. The pleasant looking young reporter stood in front of a crowd of a few hundred people milling around a couple dozen booths. Looked like wine tasting or something. “Every year a thousand or so people gather here to celebrate- The national news channel took over the audio. “Now if you watch here in the background you will see it.” There was a murmur that fell over the crowd. The cameraman noticing something was off widened his shot slightly. Henry had not seen any footage, only heard the chatter from the anchors. His eyes widened as he stared at the crowd on the screen. It started somewhere in the distance over the right shoulder of the reporter. Like an invisible tide slowly crashing into a sand castle. People were laughing and talking and then there was a moment. It was not long enough to comment on but it was a distinguishable pause,then in an instant more than half of them collapsed, seemingly dead before they hit the ground. The reporter dropped the mic and mumbled something no longer in range of the audio and slumped over. The screen went back to CNN’s New York Studio. Henry grabbed the remote and scrubbed backwards to watch it again. The room, who had seen the footage several times, instead watched him. Henry shook his head and backed it up for a third time slowing the speed. The collapsing started at the furthest point from the reporter. Travelling at a continuous pace until it got to the front and the reporter. Henry struggled to make sense of something being so incredibly efficient and yet so random. There was a couple standing near a booth that obviously got hit at the same time, their expressions changed simultaneously, their mouths moved, it even looked like they reached for each other right before she slumped over dead and he stood unharmed looking down at her. After watching it a fourth time, Henry finally was able to put a finger on what was bothering him about the scene aside from the obvious. It was their expressions that were making his skin crawl. There was no fear in their expressions. Fear that everyone was dying around them, fear that they would likely die; their faces held none. What’s more their faces held no surprise at the bazar events unfolding. It was just what could best be described as acknowledgement. A simple acknowledgement. Almost the look someone gives when they ask for the time and are told. They just accept it. “To think the headline of The New York Times yesterday was ‘Peace and Security’’ Clyde said. The Times was referring to the President’s speech yesterday in which he basically banned Religion. Naturally he didn’t say that outright but he didn’t have to. The bullet points of Congress’ new bill that he signed into law made it fairly clear. He ended his rather wordy monologue by saying ‘This new law represents a new era of ‘Peace and Security’. No one in Henry Levi’s living room currently was filled with a sense of either. The news as was their custom gathered a gaggle of so -called experts and form a panel. They then proceeded to parade a string of scientists, intellectuals and retired Military brass to give their opinions on the events. Most settled on terrorist attack but no one could explain the random nature of the deaths; what was making a minority of people immune. A former religious leader, although as of yesterday all religious leader were ‘former’, was added to the panel for some spice. He presented the always encouraging ‘ends of days’ theory and was unceremoniously mocked off the panel. There were theories that some simple mixture of antibiotics and over the counter drugs would counteract the airborne poison. The CDC released a more reasonable statement cautioning against being assured of the survival of those left standing in various footages. It’s entirely possible that there was simply a delayed affect in some and they soon would suffer the same fate. Each theory caused Deandra to curl up closer and to anger Clyde more thoroughly. The one fact that was not theory was that the airborne contaminant was heading due East. Whoever it was seemed to be attacking the entire country heading at a steady pace across. A pre-strike of some kind, the retired Military Officer offered confidently. No one argued. Henry leaned forward again as ‘Breaking News’ Flashed across the screen. They had new footage and were doing the setup it now. The CNN panel faded out. The next images were of a High school football game somewhere in East Texas. You could see the far bleachers in the background, one team on the sidelines, in front of them an intense looking coach with his clipboard, on the field players were in two separate huddles and in the foreground part of the opposing team. Within a few seconds it started. It looked almost like the crowd was doing the wave but instead of left to right it was top to bottom. Row after row fell in prefect unison until it reached the field, half of the team on the sideline fell, then a ref on the field, a couple of players in the huddle and finally the invisible force made its way to the foreground. Only this time the feed didn’t cut, the camera must have been fixed and continued to broadcast. Henry edged forward on the couch until he was practically squatting. He watched those who remained standing, what he saw next, for the first time, made him truly terrified. There was not one scream from those left standing. No confusion or tears, not the even from the children. In fact, if you looked closely enough a few people hugged each other. Henry thought he even saw a smile. Then, without any formal organization or announcement, the living began gathering the bodies. Not exactly cheerfully but not begrudgingly either. Almost as if it was small price to pay for their survival. Henry’s very soul began to tremble. He didn’t rewind the DVR this time. He didn’t want to see it again. “Do- Doesn’t your cousin live in Cali, Clyde?” Henry got out trying to compose himself. “Yea.” Clyde said blankly. “Can you – if you mind-“ Henry gestured at Clyde’s phone. “Oh!” Clyde exclaimed the request finally registering. He quickly found the contact and dialed. “No answer.” Clyde said. Henry sighed annoyed. He pivoted. “Dee, don’t you have an Aunt in Santa Anna or somewhere?” Deandra thought for a second. “Ah yes, My Aunt Sarah moved there a couple of years back. I don’t really talk to her though, she’s a bit stuck up.” Henry’s look said all that was needed. She grabbed her cell and called. “H-Hello Auntie Sarah… Hello?” Dee put a finger in her open ear to try to hear better. The room drew in closer to her in an invisible net. “Auntie Sarah, were you singing when you answered the phone?.... No, no this is Deandra, Patricia’s daughter….Yes,….. yes… No, I’m in New York remember? ……. No, it hasn’t reached us yet……Wh- what is it exactly that happened over there? …. What?” Deandra looked around the living room, her face as confused as everyone else’s. “Well yes, I hope to speak to you tomorrow as well.” The call ended. The living room as a whole waited to hear but Dee simply stared at the phone. “She seemed ….” Dee struggled to find the right word, “Happy?” She finally uttered. “I could have sworn she was singing when she answered.” “Singing?” Enrique repeated, though the confusion was shared by all. “Then once I told her I was in New York she got serious, she told me she hoped to hear from me tomorrow and hung up.” The room was quiet as if all processing trying to make sense of the dialog. No one did. In the background you could hear Henry and Enrique’s kids playing; oblivious. Terror had crept into the voices of the talking heads on the screen. While fear walked right in Henry’s front door without so much as a knock and made itself at home in his family room. The News was back with more theories. You could tell they were more desperate than the rest of us, needing to make sense of it. Mind altering drugs in the air in the water, if it didn’t kill you it rendered you a non-threat however again no one was able to explain how it seemed to follow a longitudinal line across the global. St Louis, Memphis, Jackson all on the same line. All hit at the same time. The terrorist rhetoric was slowly being phased out of the conversation being replaced by North Korea, Iran and more of the usual suspects. To pull off something of this magnitude required resources, technology, infrastructure no Terrorist group had and quite frankly only a few countries could boast. More videos were surfacing with more of the same. In far East Alabama a surveillance camera caught group of the good ol’ boys standing guard at the grocery store with Gas masks and shotguns. When it came, it happened just the same. They collapsed without any hesitation; the few left standing dropped the guns, removed their masks and within a few moments went about the business of cleaning up the bodies. Henry couldn’t see their faces behind the masks but somehow he knew they held the same look as the rest. A feeling of inevitability arrived fashionably late. It came in and sat down next to fear, they told stories to each other reminiscing on old times. He watched several other videos studying the expressions. He could still see the acknowledgment in their faces that he saw before but now he was getting something else as well: Acceptance and a Hint of familiarity, like seeing an individual that you haven’t seen for ages. Someone you forgot even existed until you saw them again. The news said that it was scheduled to hit New York in less than two hours. He imagined all of the city was, as he was, looking around the room thinking: ‘Who will still be here in two hours?’ Clyde left to be with his mother. Enrique and his daughter decided to stay. If anything happened to him at least his little girl would be with the Levi family and vice versa. Henry’s phone buzzed. “Hello.” He answered getting up so as not to talk over the news. “Son?” The sound of his Dad’s voice came solemnly through the phone; familiar as the smell of coffee in the morning. “Yes sir.” The number was not saved in his phone, must be the landline he thought. Which means- “Henry?” His mother’s voice came through. It seemed weak, on the verge of cracking. Henry’s mother was the emotional temperature of the room; His father a stone no matter the circumstance. “You know what this is don’t you?” His father asked almost hopeful. Henry frowned. Of course he didn’t know. “Not really, no.” His Dad let out an exasperated sigh, Henry’s answer seemed to annoy him. “William.” His mother said, trying to keep Henry’s father calm. Henry hadn’t the slightest how he had annoyed the man. He recognized the tone, usually reserved for when his father had enough and was seconds away from smacking him. “I spent 17 years drilling this into his head week after week.” His Dad pressed back against his mother, “Now it’s here and you don’t know?” William said once again addressing his son. The memories came flooding back. He could feel them flowing through him the way you felt hot tea on a cold day travel through your insides. The home bible studies, church three times a week, having to leave the basketball team because word got out they threw a house party with beer and William wouldn’t allow ‘bad association to spoil useful habits.’ “Judgement Day, Dad?” Henry asked with more sass then he would have gotten away with in person. “You sound Skeptical. You have the news on? Look at the screen, Son.” William half pleaded, “Tell me what you see?” Henry begrudgingly looked over at the screen in the distance. He closed his eyes and opened them again trying to imagine what it like from his father’s perspective. After a few moments he admitted that for a man like his father who had been waiting for something like this to happen for the past half century it certainly checked all the boxes. “What they are not showing you, is it’s happening in Mexico too. What do the Koreans care about Mexico, tell me, son?” His father was continuing, “There’s some reports in Colombia too. This isn’t just North America. It’s the entire length of the earth. Explain that to me.” Henry couldn’t. “Boys. Boys.” His mother’s voice broke back in. “Can we please just acknowledge that there is a chance we will never see each other again?” There was a pause. As usual no one could disagree with his mother’s pure and simple logic. “So let’s not fight.” Henry and William stayed quiet. A trained sign of voicing agreement in their family. “We just wanted to tell you how much we love you.” His mother gathered herself from cracking again, “You were the greatest thing to ever happen to a simple couple like us.” His mother stated. Henry had long since built up a resentment towards his parents but he swallowed it. This was not the time. This was the time for truth. “I could not have asked for better parents. Though we occasionally disagree, everything I have is because of you guys.” They spoke for a few more minutes and Henry hung up reluctantly. Calculating the odds they would ever speak again he wondered if he should have said more. Dee walked up. “They’re fine. You know Dad.” He couldn’t fully shake his father’s words though. Dee started to turn back to the television. “Hey babe, your Aunt in Cali… What makes you feel she stuck up?” Deandra thought for a moment. “She always got this kind of holier than thou vibe to her you know? Always preaching about God and Religion.” The building jumped in the air and landed back in place awkwardly. Henry gripped the edge of the countertop to steady himself, he looked up but no one else seemed to feel it. “You ok?” Deandre asked. “Fine.” He said unconvincingly. Henry rifled through the useless information in his mind searching for a reasonable explanation. Something, anything logical to hold on to. He suddenly had a solution. He grabbed his laptop and went to the kitchen table. His firm was in the process of buying a West Coast office to be their sister location, he didn’t know anyone out there save a couple of the people he met during acquisition, but he was technically their soon to be boss and more bluntly he didn’t care. He found the directory and enlarged it on the screen. “Guys!” he called gathering everyone to the table. “We each take a number. “ He said presenting the screen. “Then what?” Enrique asked. “Call until you get an answer.” Henry said flatly. There was a moment of hesitation but the obvious alternate was watching the clock that CNN had placed on the top right hand corner of the screen counting down the hours and minutes until it hit New York. They all began to dial. At first there were no answers at all. Ones that did answer weren’t helpful. Henry decided to try a man not on the list. The principal that was selling. “Hello?” “Hello Henry Levi here, I don’t know if you remember me but-“ “Yes, yes. Mr. Levi from New York,” The voice on the other end of the phone was steady and measured much like the man he’d met, “It appears our great business venture was all for naught.” “Appears so.” Henry granted. “Mr. Burnette, this event that happened over there? … Can you tell me anything? Anything useful?” “Can I tell… Can I tell…What can I tell?” Burnette’s voice was still steady but now Henry felt it more hallowed than measured. A strong sturdy ship without a captain, lost. “I wish, I wish, I wish I knew what to tell..” “Mr. Burnette? I’m- I’m sorry, I don’t follow.” “Forgive me Mr. Levi,” Burnette said, seeming to gather himself slightly. “I lost my wife today. My two Sons and their wives also. I don’t …” He trailed off, “I don’t- .. it seems I have to make more family. I’m a bit unfocused.” Henry stood silent. He couldn’t begin to imagine what this man was going through. He knew enough though to know nothing he said would matter. Henry heard him take a deep breath before he continued. “When we went to dinner in New York, before the merger, I noticed you bowed your head to pray before we ate.” Henry for the life of him couldn’t see how this was relevant but decided to indulge a man who just lost his family. “Hard habit to break, 20 year habit actually,” Henry said, “ How I was raised.” “Yes, it is a difficult thing to ignore one’s upbringing. And yet some of us do..” Burnette trailed off again. “Mr. Burn-“ “ ’And whenever it is that they are saying Peace and security suddenly destruction is to be instantly upon them.’ You recognize that quote Mr. Levi?” Chills went up Henry’s spine for the singular reason that he did recognize it. “1 Thessalonians 5:3,” Burnette continued, “You recall yesterday’s speech by the President?” Henry remained silent. Only this time not by choice; just frozen. “I have another one for Mr. Levi, Psalm 83:18. ‘May they become ashamed and perish. That men may know you alone are the Most high over all the earth.’” Henry knew the verse before he finished. He knew the verse before it too. The verse Mr. Burnette had mercifully left out. “Are there people at your home, Mr. Levi?” Mr. Burnette asked his voice now seeping through his chest and dripping acid on his stomach. “Yes.” Henry said finding his tongue. “Look at their faces.” Henry was almost afraid to, ”They know. Maybe they are too embarrassed to speak up. But they know, deep down we all knew that this day was coming. We let the scientist and the great minds arm us a with useless shields of physics and Laws of Nature. Profound words in books.” Mr. Burnette let out a weighted laugh, “Easier to do what we want when we can convince ourselves that we are the highest entity in the Universe.” He chuckled again at the audacity of it all. “We’ve always known,… just like you’ve always known Mr. Levi.” Burnette’s words whipped across Henry’s chest as the bitter breeze across Central Park in February. “How long until it hits New York?” Henry glanced at the screen. “15 Minutes.” “If you are unsure, hug your son Mr. Levi.” The line went dead. Henry looked at the faces around his kitchen table. They knew. “Patrick!” He bellowed. Henry’s son appeared and he picked him up heading for the kitchen. Henry hugged him again and again, much to the confusion of Patrick. He sat him on the counter, as Deandra joined them. Wiping tears from his eye he looked deeply into his son’s. “Listen son, there’s a chance I won’t be home for a while. You’ll be fine, better than fine in fact. You’ll be amazing. In the future I don’t –“ He fumbled a bit. He wasn’t prepared for this talk. How do you covey something like this to a child, he thought. “I don’t want you to think about me or my choices in life as much as I just want you to remember: there was a man who loved you unconditionally and there will never be anyone to love you more than I do, you understand?” “Yes Dad. I love you too.” Henry straighten his back and held his head high. The image he wanted his son to remember. “Then I stand victorious in any defeat.” Patrick smiled and Hugged his father. “It’s in New York,” Dee said looking out to the floor to ceiling windows in the Living Room. Enrique went in the playroom where he was daughter was. “Dee, I-“ Henry started “Sshhh.” She said kissing him gently on the lips. “Let’s look out the window!” She said putting on a brave voice for Patrick, picking him up cheerfully and going to the window. From their vantage point they could hear crashes of cars. Presumably people dying at the wheel while driving. In the distance smoke bellowed up to the sky in a pillar. New York was no town in California. Sounds of Chaos proceeded the quiet fate that followed. The eerie silence seemed to sweep across Central park and they watched the groups of people who had gathered there clasping, some thought to run but where could they run to. Finally Henry could feel it all around him. The sound was at roar and then suddenly all he could hear was… just the creak of the front door hinge; he would oil it tomorrow he thought. The room slightly brightened and all began to blur out of contrast leaving his sight with only the brightened colors. He was aware that he was still in his living room but he couldn’t focus on anything outside of the two feet in front of him. Like he had been encased in a cone made only of light and remarkable color. He couldn’t move, not that he wanted to. “Henry.” A voice unlike any other surrounded him. It wasn’t from above or below, it was from within and yet he answered aloud. “I am here.” “You know what this hour is?” “Yes.” He responded. He felt nothing but truth, clarity; he doubted he was capable of lying even if he tried. So he relaxed. There was nothing left to worry about, the time for worrying had passed. This was his Moment of Understanding. “Why have you turned your face from mine, turned your back to what you were taught?” He struggled to lie or at least turn a phrase in his favor, but the ability had been taken from him. All that poured forth when he opened his mouth was truth. “Following you was difficult growing up. When I had the choice I didn’t want the burden.” “The burden.” The voice repeated deliberately. “You train your body twice a day. Why not just in the mornings? You could spend more time with your son in the evenings. Or just the evenings you could make him breakfast and teach of me. Why both? Your son knows nothing of me.” “Vanity. I am Vain.” The truth gushed out Henry like a broken dam. “It was the vanity that Elizabeth played upon, correct?” “Yes, our affair started as such. Just a stroke for my ego.” “And why did the Affair end? “ “She became pregnant. I already had a family.” “A fact you conveniently forgot some twenty times.” The voice quickly and accurately pointed out. “Yes” “And then what?” “She killed herself.” “How?” “Slit her wrist.” “She called you before; told you what she was going to do, did she not?” “Yes.” “Did you believe her?” Henry desperately wanted to struggle against the truth. He wanted to color it, put it in context, not this black and white. It wasn’t as simple as the truth would make it sound. He fought it with what resistance he had left. “Did you believe her, Henry?” The awesome voice repeated. “Yes.” Henry let out almost involuntarily. “And did you communicate this with anyone in a position to save her? Police? Emergency services? Neighbors?” “No.” “Why didn’t you?” Henry scoffed slightly. He didn’t bother to fight. “Because it would be easier for me if she was dead.” And there is was. The truth in all it’s ugly nakedness. Laying before him like a decomposing body unavoidable and final. “So you allowed her death and the death of your unborn daughter, rather than face the consequences of your Vanity?” Henry had never known the gender. “Y-yes.” He stammered truthfully. The was a silence. Henry was not hopeful for the outcome. “Do you want to move further down the list?” The voice asked. “No.” Henry had gotten the idea. “You are aware I could have done this without you, yes?” The voice asked. “Yes.” “So why I did include you?” “Because you are Just and honest… You allowed me to see that I had been ruled on fairly.” There was a noticeable pause. “Most of you that will leave here today broke my heart. You were my smartest, most talented, most beautiful, the ones closet to what I intended in the beginning… “The was a sound. Henry couldn’t describe if only to say it sounded almost like a sigh but from a great mountain. “Are you ready?” “My son-“ “He will be with his mother, in Paradise.” Henry closed his eyes. He hoped that Patrick would remember him. “Are you ready?” The question echoed like a shotgun in a small concrete room. Are you ready? It rang in his ears. Henry shook his head at his foolishness. The scientist and Intellectuals could give you all the theories and formulas you wanted but they’re not here to be judged with you. There’s no rhetoric to comfort you at this moment. No sample to examine under a microscope to prove to you. In the end, at this very moment you stand alone, and you realize, naturally too late, that you always have. Are you ready? The question was the last thought Henry registered. Then nothing, Blackness. Empty and Void. No fire, no torturing Devil and demons, not even regret; Just black nothingness, Infinite and Forever.